Thursday, April 19, 2012 I feel....

Today, I felt like I was walking in a cloud all day.  Not really here, not really paying attention to anything, not really getting anything done. Kinda like the kid who is kicking the stone around in the middle of the street kind of feeling.
Image credit: Benjamin Ling 

Okay... I have to back up.  On Sunday we found out that someone very dear to us in our family passed away.  She was battling cancer, we thought it was in remission but something happened 8 weeks ago and her health took a turn for the worse. She is now no longer suffering, she is with her maker, she is loved and will be terribly missed.

With the news, I have been left feeling empty. Not really knowing what I am supposed to be head in the clouds.  During the beginning of the week I was fine, I felt like I was handling everything okay...but now I just feel lost.  I understand that I am grieving.  But there is something more and I can not figure it out. I miss her and I am sad.
Image Credit: "Upon Pondering" by Brooke Shaden  

With my head in lala land. when the door bell rang I was confused. What? Did I forget something? Did I have an appointment that I forgot agian?  I was not expecting a visitor...oh no another solicitor.... so I answer the door. To my surprise  I was handed this....

Beautiful flowers delivered to my house for ME and my family!!  I started to cry.  The poor delivery man probably thought I was crazy.  I thanked him and I continued to cry.  My amazing friends Juile and Cheri sent me flowers to cheer us up. I can not express the gratitude I have right now for this simple and kind gesture.  It is amazing that we live thousands of miles apart...but today I felt a huge hug from them today... Just when I needed it.  THANK YOU SO MUCH JULIE AND CHERI!

I am still in mourning but healing slowly with the love and support from friends and family from across the country I will get through this.  It just the last week I have had friends dealing with Death. I realize that it is part of life.  But it still sucks.

Tomorrow... will be a better day. It will be a better day knowing I have a healthy loving family and that I have AMAZING friends that surround me to help make me a stronger person to get through this tough time. 

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